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This One's For You

by Nic Dyson

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1.
i don't really know how to stay above this anymore. for the first time i seem to be at a loss for words. round and round it goes in my head but where's the sense in it? i don't really know. all this bullshit, curves and corners, is there any straighter path? i'm fighting now to find the strength to take that next step but i keep holding on. is it worth it? i don't really know. all at once everything seems to fit into place. everything seems perfect, but i know it's just a ruse. forty seconds is all it takes to go to hell. will i be able to bring it all together again? i don't really know. so tell me how after all of this, could we come out alright? well yes, yes i know we could make it through. yes, yes i know we could make it to the other side and all you gotta do is trust me on this. everything is gonna be alright. so wish, oh wish upon a star everything's gonna be alright. yes, yes, yes i know everything's gonna be alright. we'll make it through.
2.
That Song 02:27
i know i said what i said but lately i've been thinking of you like i do. please forgive me if how i feel makes you shy, but i never thought we'd end up like this. oh, we made mistakes but baby come on, haven't you heard of starting again? so let's go back to day one, when our paths crossed and you took my hand and never looked back. there's the field where we lay and from our eyes spoke the truths that we couldn't dare to say. oh, i know that was a long, long time ago but we can't just call it a day, forget and move on. see those other guys? well they're just other guys, and they don't know you like i do. yeah, we all make mistakes but we can't blame them, it's who we are. so let's look forward into the sun, and let's hope tomorrow won't take you away. let's hope tomorrow won't take you away.
3.
it seems that i'll never live this through. i gave you all of me and i guess that just wasn't enough. i'm worn out. you're wearing me out. i just wish you'd notice when i say that i'm okay, well maybe i'm not, cause all i have are your tired apologies and i'm sorry but that doesn't change a thing. no, it doesn't change a thing. i feel anchored down with you around and still i hold on, so watch me drown. i wasted all this time and all i have to show for it are these bags under my eyes. you are the bags under my eyes. moving on is so bittersweet and i can't deny that i miss you but i'm doing this for me. i wrote this to let you know i'm letting you go now. i'm letting you go.
4.
do you remember those nights we stayed up til sunrise and talked about what keeps us up at night? i can't get tired of that look you gave me when silence said all the things I never could cause you took my breath away. i can't forget the times we sat and listened to our favorite songs say the words we never could and don't you dare forget the sound of the rain when i was here, and you, well you were there. so i sing, my brown eyed girl how i wish you were here and if you can promise me one thing, just remember what silence said, maybe then you'll know. oh no, you'll never know. this one's for you.
5.
tell me why i'm awake tonight, and thinking of you like i do. the thoughts they run over and over again. circles and circles, let me rest my aching eyes. tell me why when it rains it pours when i'm thinking of you like i do. i'm counting the drops as they fall on the glass. i find comfort in the sound as i close my eyes and drift away. oh, i know what it's like to dream. just tell me when and i'll ask you how. i just don't know how to hold on to hope, so please oh please won't you show me how? there you were, with eyes, the stars. i could see you cry though you're so far away. why are you so far away? so i came to you the way dreamers do. i said dry those eyes please stay forever in these arms. i awake the next morning to find i'm alone. i just keep on thinking maybe this time, no not this time. just another day to build my walls. please oh please won't you tear them down? tear them down.
6.
Weather 03:04
i'm feeling my way through this gray, watching the weather getting worse. this place i'm in doesn't feel like home anymore. i'm just drifting along, finding my place in memories i wish would disappear cause they always come back to haunt me. you always come back to haunt me. i found out the hard way what it's like to be alone and it chills me to the bone to know you're not coming home any time soon. i just wish you would have found a reason to stay. i guess i only miss you when it snows. i wonder, do you miss me when it rains?
7.
over these past few years i've learned that love like everything will always leave. so what's the point of holding on? i've had my fair share of broken thoughts, just look at these walls i built myself. i'm afraid of the world outside. i'm afraid of the pain i'll find. maybe it's the distance that makes me feel like just for one day i'd like to forget how it feels to hold you close and know that i'll have to let you go. the heart grows fonder with time apart is just a tired lie that i like to tell. it hurts as much to say hello as it does to say goodbye. i've come to find i can't escape loving, leaving, and the burden it brings. so live your life and i'll live mine. i'll hold on to the hope that i'll see you soon. hold on, it's all we can do.
8.
i'm lost in my head again, dreaming, drifting between fact and fiction, wrong from right. i'm just trying to find my way out of this mess that i've made. what's the point of holding on if everyone i know goes away in the end? i'm just so afraid of letting go cause there's never a safe place to fall. i just need a hand to hold. don't we all? so wait for me. wait up for me and stay close to me. stay close to me cause i need you more than you will ever know.
9.
at night, as i look up at the same old stars, i wonder. i wonder, do i ever cross your mind? do you miss me at all? i know i should just let it go but you gave me nothing to forget. so now i'll just hide away and once again i'm right back at the start. have i been chasing ghosts all this time? i know i'll never be the only star in your sky. here i thought i could be your guiding light.
10.
Old News 05:36
i used to sleep with such ease but now i'm not myself anymore it seems. it's 4am again and everything is passing me by; tracing stars and counting cars, late nights and city lights. afternoons with caffeine and nicotine; we sat on your front steps and talked about our lives and how the age is slowly starting to show. oh, how the seasons change, and we remain the same. i've been spending all my time alone trying to get away from all the things i can't forget and all the songs we used to sing will never sound the same without you around. all of the times we didn't care if we made it home at all from those long drives and hushed conversations with rain on the windshield and fog in the headlights where everything was new is now nothing but old news to you. i just hope that you realize one day that you're the one that walked away. you're the one who said goodbye. how could we know we would end up like this? i know you, and i know you need this too so take your time. i'll be right where you left me, searching for a former clarity. i just want to find a place to call my own, a place to rest my head. i should have left my heart at home.
11.
just this once, promise me, close your eyes and listen close. take my hand and don't let go. i promise you i won't let go. i know it's hard but please believe i wouldn't have it any other way. i know you're scared but so am i. the truth is you are all i ever wanted. every time we say goodbye there's a pain in my eyes i try to hide. oh, i try, and i know you try, but please just tell me you can see it. but you know we'll always have these faceless words to fill the void and i know the moon and stars will keep you safe until i see you again. one more thing before i go: i need you more than you will ever know and i hope these words find you lonely to remind you i will always be right here.
12.
she doesn't know who i am but somewhere, somehow she's trying to find me. this i'll try to believe. she doesn't know who i am. the truth is, neither do i. she holds the answers to all i hope to find. help me find my way, i scream into the sky. is anybody there? does anybody care? no, i guess not. i'm all alone. i'm on my own. i'm afraid of what i'll find if i dig too deep. so get your spade and get your shovel and come find me. what are you waiting for? i'm all yours. all this time has passed, people come and go, taking what they find until there's nothing left. what she hopes to find i still do not know but when she does i'll pray that she got it right, that i got it right, that i found myself, that i'm not alone. so i took to the streets looking for all i hope to find but where do i begin? where do we begin? i've been down this road before, and i know it seems like it never ends, but i just have to move forward. i set my sights on the horizon. i know nothing's ever simple. don't tell me it's simple. who told you it was simple? cause nothing is ever simple. now, all i have is hope. it's all i ever had. it keeps me searching for all i hope to find. she doesn't know who i am, but somewhere, somehow she's trying to find me. this i do believe. she doesn't know who i am but she holds the answers to all i hope to find. i'm on my way.

about

written in the summer of 2012 - winter of 2013
recorded in my basement with my dad from October 2013 - April 2014

Happiness is worth the fight

credits

released August 8, 2014

all songs written by Nic Dyson
except track 10 written by Nic Dyson and Shelby Hoggard
Recorded/mixed/mastered by Dave Dyson (dad)
Percussion on track 1 by Eric Janczyszyn
Vocals on track 4 by Chenoa McKelvey
Vocals on track 7 by Nicole Snider
Vocals on track 10 by Shelby Hoggard
illustration by Ally Sigurdson
album design by DJ Cline

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Nic Dyson Winnipeg, Manitoba

Acoustic sad from small town Mantioba.

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