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Where We're From

by Nic Dyson

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1.
You said it's cold where we're from. You said you never felt safe. You said I never loved you like you wanted me to. So let's play pretend and say it's all my fault. Well, what would that change? Not a god damn thing. I heard you go to parties now with all the older boys. They don't know you like you want them to. We held heaven in our hands but you let it slip away and now I'm lost again and I'm feeling like nothing. I don't want to be nothing.
2.
Temporary 03:14
Take just a second now to reflect on these passed few years. Are you proud of you you've become? Are you happy with where you are and who you're there with? What about your friends? Do you think they even care at all? Well, I bet you're lonely. I bet you're lost and no one can find you. Not even me. So don't even ask 'cause never again. Never again. Are you afraid of what you might find if you dig too deep? Cause when all is said and done you're just frost on my window, fog in the morning light, cold and transparent. You were only temporary and everyone's finding out.
3.
I'm sorry if it seems I'm not all here. There's just somewhere else I'd rather be. I'm sorry if it seems I'm not all there. There's just someone else I'd rather be. I guess this is all I get and I guess this is all I've got. Still, I'm glad that you're here. Let's share some secrets over coffee. And maybe we'll work something out, find some peace of mind if only for a night.
4.
Blurry eyed, wide awake, keeping time with the pounding in my head. Fever dream, wake up screaming at the ceiling. Breathe in, breathe out, here we go again. Well, I don't recall you calling and I don't recall you caring when I asked for you to listen, when I told you I was leaving. But I know you already know that and I know you don't regret it so why can't we just leave it alone? Just leave it alone. I heard that you found yourself, you say that you're better off, well god forbid I get in the way. I've had enough of your excuses and I don't want to hear your reasons why I should still feel your guilt. I'm over it.
5.
In another time, another place we could have worked it out fine. I was always holding on to hope but if this is what I get, well then what's the point of wondering why? I still think about the past and everything we missed and everything we could have been. Do you think about it still? Or am I just chasing ghosts again? Well, I hope you find what you're looking for in someone elses eyes, under someone elses skies I just don't know why it can't be mine.
6.
Vertigo 03:01
Oh vertigo, take me around again. Show me something I've never seen. Sing to me softly as I fall asleep. We used to tell stories of what we'd find in the valley's of our bedsheets. There are flowers blooming in the worn out soles of my shoes. I paint the walls of my room. Please don't ask, I won't tell. There are weeds growing through the floorboards; I am digging a hole. I am creating a world entirely of my own design. I am searching for the comfort I lost somewhere in between my dreams and my desires. Oh vertigo, take me around again.
7.
As soon as I spoke you stopped listening. You made up your mind, too proud to let go. So hold on to me, as I fall into misery. I'm giving in to giving up it's all I got left. I'm trapped in my head but I'm out of my mind, I mess up every time. Under the weight, can't stand up straight. I hope nobody minds if I stay home tonight because I quit keeping track of the time that I waste on you.
8.
Hypnagognia 01:53
Not yet awake. Hung up on the night's light. No need to notice, no need to care. It's something faint. This is not a new place, I'm somewhere else. Keeping time. Keeping time with my old ways, juxtaposed with this new rain... Oh wait, can I start again? Not yet awake. Hung up on the night's light. I'm not forgetting what you said, just the colour of your voice, and maybe that's okay. Not yet awake. Hung up on the night's light. It's something faint...
9.
I'm just being honest but you're calling me a liar. Whatever happened to straight up conversation? If you didn't wanna hear it what are you still doing here? If this is what you wanted, don't look at me that way. If this is what you wanted, don't say those things to me. I'm done. So take one last look before you go and throw it all away. What did you accomplish by screaming at me? Say goodbye, I'll be on my way. If this is what you wanted, don't say it's all my fault. If this is what you wanted, I'm not going to apologize. Grow up.
10.
Smothered 02:36
11.
Wide Awake 03:18
12.
Stones 04:39
We gather memories like stones and they're all skipping across the water, sinking one by one. And I'm starting to forget what I came here for. Was there something I missed? Was there someone else I'm supposed to be? I feel like I should say something to alleviate the stress of unknowing. Why pretend? It's the only thing that's keeping me alive. I need to breathe your air. I need to hear you whisper in my ear, "it's all in my head". So, I watch myself crumble and fall apart, call it art. I'm waiting for the waves to subside. This is my will to survive. You don't have to scream so loud I can hear you just fine. I know, I know it's all in my head. It's the same old story, just another contradiction I can't seem to shake. And it shouldn't feel so comfortable to be a liar when I say that I belong here because home is just a feeling that I'll be chasing the rest of my life.

about

All songs written in the spring of 2014-summer of 2016 by Nic Dyson except track 9 by Nic Dyson and Dylan James
All songs recorded in my basement/dylan's bedroom by Dave Dyson (dad) except tracks 4, 8, 9 by Jordan Voth
Mixed by Dave Dyson and Nic Dyson except tracks 4, 8, 9 by Jordan Voth
Mastered by Dave Dyson except tracks 4, 8, 9 by Jordan Voth
Vocals on track 3 by Marissa Kernicki
Drums/Bass on tracks 4, 8, 9 by Dylan James
Piano on tracks 7, 8, 12 by Dylan James
Lead Guitar on track 9 by Dylan James
Artwork my Nicholas Addy
Artwork consulting by Alex Stubner

Happiness is worth the fight. Thank you with everything I have for listening. I hope you find something meaningful to you within these songs

credits

released June 16, 2017

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Nic Dyson Winnipeg, Manitoba

Acoustic sad from small town Mantioba.

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